I do not understand why so many people call me a monster. I am not a monster. I AM A MAN!!!! If you cut me, do I not bleed? If you drop a 5000 pound laser guided smartbomb on me, do I not blow up into a million pieces? If you speak ill of me, do I not feel depressed? I am so misunderstood by the world. Well, MOST of the world. At least the French like me... though maybe not as much as Jerry Lewis.

I must do something to improve the world's perception of me. But what? I shall ponder this as I eat my breakfast of fried babies.