Saturday, December 30, 2006

What a pisser!

I can't believe they're about to hang me. And please, no wisecracks about me being "well hung." I'll come back from the dead and personally kick anyone's ass who makes a joke like that.

What did I do to deserve this? Well, aside from gassing those villages, I mean. Has anyone stopped to consider the fact that once I'm gone, there won't be anyone left to put Iraq back together again? You think Bush is going to do it? HA!! Not a chance.

More importantly, who's going keep George Lucas from making more movies? He ruined the Star Wars franchise with those last three pieces of crap, and now it looks like he's about to do the same with Indiana Jones. So don't come crying to me if Jar-Jar Binks shows up as a Nazi.

Anyway, I'd like to thank all of YOU, my loyal readers. We've had some good times over the last few years, haven't we? Remember the time I snuck out of the country just so I could review King Kong for you? How about my explanation of "irony?" Or my date with Jennifer Lopez? And remember that time I bumped into Don Rumsfeld at the Tikrit Starbucks!?! HAHAHA!!!! Those were fun times, and I will treasure those memories for the rest of my life.... Or the next 30 minutes, whichever comes first.

I know I haven't been posting much these last few months, but I've been busy getting my affairs in order. And don't expect my writing to pick up anytime soon. Being dead tends to stunt one's creativity.

Still, death won't be all bad. At least I won't have to worry about waking up with a hangover New Year's morning.

Goodbye, farewell, and amen.

Friday, December 15, 2006