Thursday, March 27, 2003

After I discovered that my phone calls were being monitered by the unlawful invaders threatening to install democracy in Iraq, thereby spoiling my fun, I decided to communicate with my military commanders by way of carrier pigeon. Well, that hasn't worked out too well, either. Apparently the troops are so hungry that they end up eating the birds without bothering to read my orders. As a result, I will now be issuing my commands by way of smoke signals. That should be easy enough. God knows we have enough smoke around here. Oh, and if you're wondering, there has been no change in Uday's condition.