Thank Allah my computer is up and running. I just read in the online edition of USAToday that Delta Force commandos have tapped into my phone line! Good thing the Americans have a free press or I would never have found out! I shall begin using carrier pigeons to communicate with my subordinates.

I used to complain that AOL sucks, but to their credit, I still have internet access. It's slow as molasses in a January sandstorm, but at least it's working.

I'm tempted to email North Korea's Kim Jong-il for reinforcements, but he'd probably just go off into one of his nonsensical rants again. I think the Syphillis is beginning to effect his mind.