Monday, March 17, 2003

Well, Bush and two puppets from Britain and Spain have set a deadline of tomorrow for me to disarm. Big whoop. By my count, this is the 347th deadline in the last 12 years. Then again, the other 346 times didn't include 250,000 American and British troops breathing down my neck. Well, we'll see. Bush would have to be insane to attack me with the opposition he's facing both at home and abroad. I draw strength from those protesters. Why, it's better than Viagra!!! Um, not that I've EVER needed any artificial help to, um, "launch my Scud," if you know what I mean..... If Bush wants to see a REAL weapon of mass destruction, I got it hangin' right here!

Even the Dixie Chicks are on my side. Maybe I'll invite them to Baghdad and personally show them my big, massive, throbbing long range missile.

This latest summit meeting of the "Axis of Warmongers" is meant to intimidate me through a show of unity. HA, HA, HA.... Give me a break!! I mean, yes, the United States is certainly intimidating. The British TRY to be scary, but let's face it: They talk funny. And Spain? Now that's a hoot!!! Does Spain even HAVE an army?!? What are they going to do? Send bullfighters over here? Remember that whole Spanish Armada fiasco of theirs a few hundred years ago? So much for their navy.

On the other hand, the opposition to this supposedly coming war is much more unified. Russia, China, France, Germany, and the rest of Europe are all against it. Well, there was that one embarassing incident a few days ago when France surrendered to Germany. But that was cleared up when someone explained to Jacques Chirac that this time they were both on the same side.

Anyway, that's where things stand now.