I am very disturbed by the number of Shiites protesting the US presence in Iraq. Don't misunderstand me; I love the protests themselves and find them quite moving. What DOES bother me though is the sheer number of these people. Where are they all coming from? My cousin, Chemical Ali, assured me years ago that he had gassed them by the tens of thousands. Yet there they are on TV!! Either he deceived me, or these people have some sort of accelerated gestation period and reproduce like rabbits!

Unfortunately, I don't think it has anything to do with their biology. Too bad Ali is dead. I'd love to shoot the lying SOB myself.

If I've learned one thing these last several weeks, it's never hire your relatives. They'll walk all over you, then expect you to spare their lives.