Monday, April 14, 2003

A number of people have commented on the number of statues of me throughout Iraq. So what? I am beloved my people, and they proclaim their affection for me, their fearless leader who is currently in hiding, by erecting statues. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, Iraq is the world's number one producer of Saddam Hussein statues!!! Now that's saying something. In fact, the reason people were toppling them left and right was to protect them from the infidel invaders! And since the statues are too big for any one individual to cart off for safekeeping, they were forced to break them up into smaller, easier to handle, pieces. And once I reassume power, my people will bring the pieces back out of hiding and reassemble the statues. Hopefully, they thought to number pieces as to what goes where. Otherwise, I may to gas an entire city for putting my crotch where my nose normally would go.

Besides, I know for a fact that MANY other countries have statues as well. What confuses me, though, is that they are statues of DEAD men. What is the point of that? I mean, they 're dead, for crying out loud. It's not like they're going to walk up to it, say that the nose is crooked, and then shoot the sculptor.

Not that I've ever done that.....