Some of our citizens are wondering why, if the unlawful coalition of trespassers is mired in its own pool of bodily fluids because of overwhelming fear back at the Kuwaiti border, there have been American tanks driving around downtown Baghdad. That is a very good question, and it challenges the Iraqi government to come up with a good answer. That is why I shot everyone who asked it.

After about four or five clips, it occurred to me that maybe we should start conserving our ammo. After all, the Syrians are going to have a hard time getting supplies through to us if we're surrounded by an ocean of Abrams tanks (Note to Iraqi citizens reading this: Notice I said IF we're surrounded by Abrams tanks, which we are not, because we expelled the invaders from the airport and sent them fleeing back to Kuwait). (Comprende? Or am I going to have to shoot your sorry, questioning butt, too?)

So then I came up with the story that those are actually OUR tanks, cleverly painted to look like American tanks, in order to confuse the bile spewing enemy.

Pretty good, eh?