That ninny Abu Abbas has gone and gotten himself arrested. And if I'm not in enough hot water already, now I'm being accused of harboring him!!

Not true!!!! He was only here visiting relatives, then got stuck when Saddam Airlines canceled its flights because of flaming wreckage littering the runways. Wreckage that was not MY fault, I might add.

But the real kicker in my latest tale of woe is that Abu has actually been living in the United States under a slightly different spelling of his name. He's been there almost 15 years now, running a convenience store in some city known only as "Springfield."

I get blamed for everything, and quite frankly, it's getting old. Next someone will accuse me of contributing to air pollution just because I blew up a few oil wells.