There is nothing more pathetic than when the Americans try to be funny at my expense. Do they not understand what will happen to them when I take over? For example, we have this little gem from Russ: Apparently there is a joke going round about you, and I'm sure you will appreciate it's violent nature: The Iraqi Information Minister walks into a room full of Saddam Hussein's doubles. He tells them "It's good news! Our glorious leader has survived the bombings! However, he has been blinded and has lost an arm."

Now, yes, I can see the violent part of the humor, BUT it seems to be directed at me! Plus, it is saying that I am missing parts of my body. That would suggest that I am inferior to the rest of humanity, which presumably has all their limbs.

Never mind the body doubles in this case. The only obvious solution in this circumstance would be to chop off an arm from everyone else. And wait till they find out WHY they're having an arm chopped off!! Oh, Russ, Russ, Russ.... People are going to be very VERY pissed at you. If I were me, I'd immediately flee to a small villa south of Damascus.

Um, I mean CANADA. Flee to CANADA! YOU, I mean....