Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Donald Rumsfeld, the American Secretary of Invading Hordes, seems to think I destroyed my many millions of (alleged) weapons of mass destruction!


I can see how this military genius has earned his reputation! Can't pull anything over on him!!

Of course, this is by no means an admission that I had such weapons in the first place, which maybe I did or maybe I didn't. I'm not saying one way or another. I'm just putting forth a wacky hypothesis that IF I had HAD WMDs, then I destroyed them the afternoon of March 16th. Er, of course I mean I WOULD HAVE destroyed them the afternoon of March 16th.... IF I had them.... Which I didn't..... Maybe.

I will admit, however, that I find it WILDLY ironic that the US army has been unearthing the exact same items at its Fort Dietrick in Maryland, including Anthrax, vials of bacteria, and assorted nerve agents. Apparently the army "forgot" they had buried those items there back in the early '70's. They blame the oversight on "sloppy paperwork."

Excuse me?!?! I tried using that "sloppy paperwork" thing as an excuse, and it got me invaded! Talk about a double standard!! Where's Hans Blix when I really need him?!? And sanctions! I want sanctions imposed!

If you think about it, it would be highly amusing to see international sanctions imposed on the US. Someone would have to keep an eye on the French, though. They may be lovable, but you can't trust 'em worth a damn. They'll kiss you on both cheeks, hug you, feel your butt, & then turn right around, have sex with your wife, and sell banned weapons to your enemies.

But what most disturbs me about this story is that the army is now destroying the items they're digging up. What a waste!!!! They're going to need that stuff to bring the damn Shiites back under control.