I am SO out of the loop lately! Thanks to Victor, an alert follower, I have just learned that the desperate criminal occupiers of this great land known as Iraq--which is unfortunately plagued by too many damn locusts, scorpions, and Shiites--have begun printing Dinar notes with MY picture on them!!!!

They say it is because they need to get some kind--ANY kind--of currency back into circulation, but you and I both know that's camelsh*t! The REAL reason is that they are preparing to surrender to my superior forces and are laying the groundwork for my return to power. Little do they know that this time, I don't plan to settle for just Iraq. Or that dinky Kuwait, either.

Does anyone have Alan Greenspan's email address? I want to send him my idea for the new American Dinar which will feature a portrait of George Washington bowing before me. Hopefully we can have those ready to go in time for the upcoming holiday shopping season.....

No, NOT Christmas, you idiot infidel. I meant Ramadan!!!