Thursday, June 12, 2003

Saddam will be in meetings all day, so he has asked me to fill in for him. The Great One is busily plotting his comeback and eventual liberation of America. That sort of thing takes up a lot of one's time, as plans must be prepared, equipment ordered, troops lined up, American Dinars printed, and the Dixie Chicks' concert schedules checked so that any invasion does not interfere with their shows.

Saddam also wanted me to let you know that he will soon be reducing the frequency of his posts, probably to several times a week as opposed to almost daily. If do come here, and there's nothing new, Saddam does subscribe to SatireSearch, and those links are automatically updated every day. You can find them at the very bottom of this page.

There's also Lugosi's site, which is updated on a (mostly) daily basis. I really don't know why Saddam reads him; this lugosi is obviously infidel vermin--or is it vermin infidel? Plus, I think his credibility leaves a LOT to be desired.

Many of you have inquired about my well being. Thank you for that. Your love and support means a lot to me, as no one in my own family seems to believe a word I say. Can't understand why they are like that.

Anyway, it is nice to be appreciated, even if it is by godless barbarian infidels who continue to impale themselves by the tens of thousands on the gates of Baghdad. At last count, there were 13,783,437 of you piled up out there. And you're getting a little rank in that hot desert sun, I might add.

I've been staying busy here at the Iraqi Ministry of Information's temporary quarters in a broom closet at a secret, undisclosed location. Unfortunately, I do have to share the space with a balding man named Dick something. He carries a portable defibrillator.

I have, of course, been checking out other job opportunities. Ideally, any new position I accept would make maximum use of my journalism background, eye for details, and world-renown reputation for fact checking.

In fact, the New York Times just called me back for a second job interview, so I'm optimistic about that.

Well, BTW.