I see that my latest inspirational speech finally made it onto Al-Jazeera. I recorded that thing last week. And it's getting harder and harder to get studio time these days. All kinds of Arabic musician wannabes are taking advantage of their new freedoms and trying to release albums, so they're hoggin' the equipment. Have you ever heard Farsi rap music? It's not pretty. And then they pull up next to you at a traffic light with their 1500 watt stereo woofers so damn loud you can't hear a mortar shell go off 3 feet away!! What the hell is that about, anyway?!?! These damn kids today.....

But I digress....

Maybe after I retire, I'll hit the lecture circuit. A guy can make good money doing motivational speeches these days at places like board meetings, trade conventions, and bar mitzvahs. Well, okay, maybe I'll pass on the bar mitzvahs.

But the rest of it I should do pretty well with. And if all else fails, I'll pull out a gun and shoot a couple of people in the front row. That should get the REST of the crowd plenty motivated!