Wednesday, September 10, 2003

According to the Washington Post, 69% of Americans continue to believe I was somehow responsible for the 9-11 attacks in 2001. That is truly sad, but not surprising. After all, we're talking about the same people who think Homer Simpson is a real person and would gladly vote for him for President if his name appeared on the ballot.

And the fact that your Satan-in-Chief keeps suggesting that I was somehow connected to that plot isn't helping matters. But hey, he's desperate to justify his ongoing illegal occupation of Iraq, so I guess I can't blame him for fudging the facts just a wee bit.

But believe me when I say that wasn't me; 9-11 was all Osama. The only bad thing I've ever done on American soil was that business with O.J.'s wife a few years ago, but they never did pin that on me.

As I'm sure you're well aware, there were NO Iraqis among the hijackers. In fact, most of them were Saudis. What's more, they were led by an Egyptian. So if you Americans want to bomb someone for 9-11, go pound Saudi Arabia and Egypt!

Oh, but wait.... Saudi Arabia and Egypt are allies of the United States. I guess you can't be bombing your friends, even when they're the ones who attack you. What a crazy, mixed up world....

----------Mike Thompson, Detroit Free Press

Even in his speech the other night, Bush said Iraq is the new frontline of his war on terror. Well, I have to take issue with that. Yes, Al-Qaeda is moving into Iraq, but that's only because there's been a complete breakdown of central authority here. Believe me, if the United States hadn't come in and royally mucked things up, there were would be no foriegn terrorists operating here. I wouldn't put up with their self-righteous holier-than-thou attitudes. They try to shove religion down our throats, then threaten you when you resist. Kind of like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell over in America. So no, I don't particularly appreciate Osama sending his people in here. We Iraqis are perfectly capable of expelling the invading hordes ourselves, thank you very much.

What concerns me is that once the Americans do pull out, Osama is going to claim credit and want a piece of the action in return. It's kind of like after a guy spends $50 bucks on a date, he wants something in return. He doesn't want to go home empty handed.

Anyway..... If anyone ever tells you that being a power hungry dictator is easy, don't believe him. It's not. There's a helluva lot of paperwork involved.