----------Mike Peters, Dayton Daily News

Longtime followers of my propaganda.... Er, I mean, uh.... "Truthful teachings," already know that I despise Fox News, and that I have often suggested that perhaps their executives are borderline psychotics.

I wish to apologize for that. There is nothing "borderline" about those wackos.

Now I know that some of you are probably thinking that the reason I don't like Fox is that they don't like me. Well, that would be just plain downright petty on my part, wouldn't it? Kind of like the time I mailed a sack of camel droppings to Bill O'Reilly. Er, I mean, IF I were to ever have mailed.... Never mind.

My point is that it is not merely my own prejudices that have led me to conclude they're insane over there. I have actual, substantiated, unadulterated proof: They tried to sue themselves!

Apparently what happened is that The Simpsons--the one show on American TV that dares tell it like it is--did a parody of the Fox News crawler that they run at the bottom of the screen. The infidel idiots at Fox News argued that some people might mistake The Simpsons crawler for actual, real news items.

How preposterous is that? I mean, if people aren't stupid enough to believe the crawlers at the bottoms of the actual Fox News programs, why on Earth would they think The Simpsons ones are real?