President Bush is concerned that religious fanatics want to take over Iraq. This is rather ironic, since it is Bush himself who is seeking to turn the United States into a christian theocracy.

Bush's concern, however, is that Islamic extremists are seeking to take control of my country. And as much as I hate to say it, I have to agree with him for once: Letting the nutcases take over would be a bad idea. And do I need to point out yet again that we wouldn't have this problem if a certain superpower hadn't come in here and started screwing with the status quo in the first place? But N-O-O-o-o-o-O-O-O-o-o-o!!!!! Bush just coudn't leave well enough alone, could he?

Tell you what, Mr. Bush: Let me return to power, and I'll take care of the nutty Shiites once and for all.

Of course, that would entail the use of my non-existent weapons of mass destruction....