Saturday, April 17, 2004

A couple of days ago I compared Bush's decision to "stay the course" to Captain Smith's handling of the Titanic. Now it turns out that the analogy may not end there.

You remember that scene where the ship is about to break into two, with rivets popping and cables snapping? Again, that's kind of what's happening with the White House. All the different memos and other bits of information emerging about the missed 9-11 warnings are like rivets popping and ricocheting all over the place. And as each one goes, the ship of state draws closer and closer to slipping under the waves.

Now comes a breaking story may just snap the hull of the Bush Presidency in two. Bob Woodward of the Washington Post has written a book called "Plan of Attack." The book reveals that Bush began planning the invasion of my peaceful nation of sweet innocent goat herders in November of 2001 even as the war in Afghanistan was at its height!

Some of you may not see a problem with that, and that's okay. Please send me your home addresses so I can personally come visit you and we can discuss the matter as civilized human beings. Then I'll hook your testicles up to electrodes and zap your family jewels with several thousand volts of electricity to further emphasize my points.

The problem arises because Bush took 700 million dollars earmarked for the Afghanistan fighting and diverted it to begin planning for the invasion of Iraq. My understanding is that since he did this without getting the approval of congress--or even telling them--Bush broke the law.

So let me get this straight: It's okay for Bush to take almost a billion dollars and spend it on his personal hobbies, like invading countries that are minding their own business. But when I do it, it's called looting my nation's treasury?

I just pray to Allah that Jack and Rose make it off the ship this time.