Saturday, April 10, 2004

The good news just keeps coming and coming. Now the so-called "Iraqi Governing Council," which is composed of exiles who haven't lived in Iraq for at least 40 years, is starting to distance itself from the American crackdown on Fallujah. Two members are even threatening to quit!

Well, good! Anytime the US decides it needs someone to restore order, they know where to find me. And just as soon as the parades welcoming me back to the Sunni triangle are over, I'll personally go down to Najaf and thank Moqtada Al-Sadr, or whatever the hell his name is. Then I'll gas the Shiites for old times sakes.

Yeah, yeah. I know some of you wimps are recoiling in horror at that, but really, it's the only way to keep those people in line. Trust me. I know the Shiites, and the only thing they understand is a swift gaseous kick in the lungs.

And the world really shouldn't be surprised by the fierce resistance in Fallujah. It's citizens remain fervently loyal to me, for they haven't forgotten the time I saved them from Camelman.

Speaking of the Governing Council, I added a new poll earlier in the week. It's to the left. And please keep in mind that my polls are intended purely for your amusement, because I honestly don't give a jackal's ass what you think.

Have a nice day.