Sunday, May 16, 2004

That prisoner abuse scandal continues to plague the Bush Administration. This past week the President reasserted his support for Secretary of Illegal Infidel Invasions Donald Rumsfeld. And Rummy did his part by coming all the way to Iraq in a show of support for his troops. And by the way, he hurt my feelings by not paying me a personal visit. I was really, really hoping he would, because I was planning to give a thumbs up sign while pointing at his genitals. Would that have made a great photo or what!?!?

Meanwhile, the entire United States government keeps blaming the lowly privates in those photos for "being out of control."

Yeah, right. Granted, I don't know a whole lot about how the United States military operates--well, actually, I do, since I've seen it up close.... But let's not talk about that right now.... Where was I? I'm having a hard time concentrating since I've been off my Ritalin.....

Oh, right.... What I was going to say is that while I don't know how the United States military operates, I can tell you that the in the Iraqi military, lowly privates don't as much as scratch their butts without first getting permission from their superior officers. And yet the world is asked to believe that poor, sweet, innocent Lynndie England, who even got herself knocked up while she was over here, came up with the idea to tie a dog collar around a naked man's neck?

Yeah, right. And I've got weapons of mass destruction.

I mean, c'mon!!! If the people in those photos were stupid enough to take frikkin' pictures of themselves breaking international laws, do you think they were clever enough to come up with the idea to stack naked men into piles? I mean, seriously: Me and my secret police used to do some serious torture back in the day, but we were never dumb enough to leave photographic evidence of our atrocities!!!

Er, I mean, IF there HAD been atrocites, we wouldn't have left photographic evidence. Not that there was any of that, you understand. I was merely suggesting a hypothetical, what-if type of situation.

Anyway, it now appears that there is new evidence that Rumsfeld not only knew about the torture, but he approved it as well!!

Whoops, gotta go! Saturday Night Live is on. I love it when that guy does his Dick Cheney impression!