The tribunal that is supposed to try me on whatever trumped up charges I'm facing is having a hard time getting organized because of all the violence plaguing Iraq.

Gee, I'm just heartbroken!

Turns out five potential members of the tribunal have been killed in the past year, and half its budget is going for security and insurance policies for its members.

Okay, so I made up the part about the insurance policies. The truth of the matter is that no one in the world is Stupid enough to grant any of them a policy.