Have you heard the latest? Iran aided the 9/11 hijackers!! Oh, there's no evidence just yet that the Iranians were directly involved in the planning and execution of the attacks, BUT they did give free passage to the participants as they traveled in and out of Afghanistan.

So I ask you once again, my dear readers, why it's MY country that's being occupied, why it's MY people that are having freedom and democracy shoved down their throats, and why I'M the one who's sitting in a stinkin' jail cell!?!?!

Wait.... I know what happened! Bush can't spell!!!! That's it!!!! Someone gave him a memo or something saying Iran was involved, and he thought it said Iraq!!! So he sent his army after poor little ol' me while those Shiite Ayotollahs across the border were laughing their asses off!!!

That's why I never really had a serious problem with Clinton. The man was a Rhodes Scholar, and he knew how to operate a dictionary. But then Bush come in, whose idea of a major literary work is "My Pet Goat," and suddenly I'm getting blamed for everything that goes wrong in this crazy mixed up world of ours.

Anyway, I have it on good authority that Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld are already conferring with one another about invading Iran.

Cheney's the bald one in the middle.