What day is it? Monday? That means my favorite show is on tonight. No, no, I'm not talking about Terrorist Eye for the Infidel Guy. I meant my OTHER favorite show, Labor and Materials.

Every week they go to someone's bombed out house and rebuild it. They film the entire process, and it's actually quite surprising how good the show is.

Then after they're done, a film crew from "World's Wildest Car Bombs" shows up and blows up the house again!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Actually, I was just kidding about that last part. Well, MOSTLY kidding.....

Anyway, the show is hosted by some 29 year old chick named Shaima Emad Zubair. Quite frankly, I've always been intrigued by women who know how to wield power tools. I wonder if she would let me plug mine in?

I was referring to my belt sander, you frikkin' perverts!!!

When I get out of here, I plan to track her down. From what I've heard, a number of my palaces are in serious need of remodeling.