Monday, October 11, 2004

Here's a question to ponder: Is President Bush a dummy?

No, no, I don't mean in terms of his I.Q. Besides, I think we all know the answer to that one already.

No, I mean is he literally a dummy, like a ventriloquist's dummy? You know the ones I mean: Those wooden things, where someone shoves his hand up the dummy's butt and makes his mouth move, but really it's the puppeteer doing all the talking.... Kind of like what I used to do with my Minister of Information.

Some alert observers noticed that during his first debate with John Kerry, Bush had an odd, square shaped bulge in the back of his jacket. There is some speculation that perhaps it was a transmitter of some sort, and that either Cheney or Rove were feeding him answers.

Now I know some of you are thinking that's a rather rude question to raise about the leader of the free world. Perhaps so, but is it any ruder than invading a sovereign nation under false pretenses?

Besides, even the Washington Post has addressed this issue! Of course, they didn't exactly use the word "dummy" in describing the President, but that's only because they didn't want to generate a flood of letters to the editor from wacko Republicans.