Now even former Infidel Administrator Paul Bremer has come out and said that the US didn't have enough troops to set up a proper occupation. According to him, this allowed an "atmosphere of lawlessness" to become established.

Say what you will, but lawlessness was something I never tolerated. If someone stole as much a piece of fruit from a street vendor, they would end up having a hand chopped off. Oh, and you know what was funny about that? We'd always give the suspect a choice of which hand to have removed. Then, depending on which one they picked, we'd chop off the other one! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Of course, after a while the criminals started figuring this out. So they would say they wanted their right hand chopped off thinking we'd chop off their left hand. But then we would, in fact, chop off their right hand.

But the criminal mind is always quick to adapt, and so the criminals started telling us they wanted their left hand chopped off thinking we thought they meant they wanted their right hand chopped off when they really meant their left hand, all the while knowing that we would chop off their right hand.

Well, needless to say, all this psychological warfare became VERY confusing after a while.... So we started chopping off their feet instead.

The trick, you see, is to stay one step ahead of the criminals. Of course, that's not too hard when they're hopping around on one foot!