A message from Yours Truly to the infidel Americans:

What the hell is wrong with you people!?! Granted, I did foolishly urge you to go out and vote, but I meant for John Kerry, you morons, NOT frikkin' George Bush!!!!!

I mean, I figured you people had enough sense to know what I meant without me having to provide you with detailed instructions!!! But n-o-o-O-O-O-O-o-o-o-o-O-O-O-O!!!!! You just had to go and reelect him, didn't you!?!? You realize what this means, don't you? Now I'm NEVER going to get out of here!!!!

Why did you do it? Is it because 40% of you still stupidly believe that I was somehow involved in 9/11? Have you forgotten that the Commission which investigated those attacks said there was no connection between me and Al Qaeda? And have you forgotten what Richard Clarke said? That he had tried to warn Bush and Cheney about Osama in the first few months of the Administration, but they just ignored him.

So what happens? I'm the one who ends up in jail while the guy who killed 3000 American civilians on American soil is STILL on the loose. What's more, he's even making frikkin' videotapes taunting you people!!! And you know why? Because the American military is busy trying to bring my country under control instead of out looking for him!

And so you go and reelect Bush.... We'll see if you people still feel the same way when he turns the United States into a Christian theocracy and starts flogging women who try to get abortions.

Just don't come crying to me when you realize your mistake.