One of the major Sunni parties has announced that it is pulling out of next month's elections because it's too dangerous for the candidates. This, of course, only serves to further call into question the legitimacy of any future election results. The Sunnis will refuse to accept rule by a Shiite majority government, and the Shiites will argue that it's not their fault the Sunnis pulled out. The arguments will go back and forth, getting louder with each change, until a car bomb goes off and shuts everyone up.

And now even Bin Laden is getting involved, a move I'm not too thrilled about. Cheney's only going to take advantage of Binny's latest tape as proof that he and I had serious ties. That, of course, is utter nonsense. As I've said many times before, bin Laden's a self-righteous prick who's always trying to appease Allah. "I love you Allah," he's always saying. "I'm going to serve you gloriously by having someone other than me martyr themselves for you." Yeah, yeah. Put a sock in it, Osama.

My only concerns, on the other hand, are consolidating power, increasing my collection of gold toilets, maintaining the desire to wish to eventually possibly acquire weapons of mass destruction sometime in the distant future, and getting laid.

What could be more noble than that?