In their latest effort to stem the insurgency, the puppet government of my country has announced plans to surround Baghdad with 40,000 soldiers and police. The idea, as I understand it, is to seal off the city so the bad guys can't get in.

Bad idea. Don't these idiots ever watch horror movies? Locking out the bad guy never works!!

It's like when you have a crazed killer terrorizing teenagers on a camping trip. Usually there's eight of them, most of whom are virgins, except for the blonde, who's a slut. So what do these kids do? They go lock themselves in a house, thinking that will keep them safe from the guy in the hockey mask. Unfortunately, it turns out that he's already INSIDE the house, and now the teenagers are REALLY in trouble!!