I've said some pretty insulting things about Donald Rumsfeld over the last couple of years, but only because I think he's dumb as a rock.

No, no. I said dumb as "a rock," not dumb as "Iraq." There's a difference. Maybe not much of a difference, but at least some nonetheless.

At any rate, Rumsfeld has finally said something intelligent, so I thought I should go ahead and make a public note of it. He appeared on the Bush Administration's propaganda outlet, Fox News, and admitted that the Iraqi insurgency could go on for years. "It ebbs and flows," he said.

Yeah, and so does a backed-up sewer.... I'm not sure what that analogy means, but at this point I have nothing to lose, so what the hell.

The problem with this insurgency is all these foreign fighters that are coming across the various borders of Iraq just so they can martyr themselves and get laid by 72 virgins. Now as I've said before, I don't get the whole virgin thing. I prefer my women to have experience and to know what they're doing. The last thing I want to be doing during an intimate encounter with some 18 year old babe is explaining what goes where. Then they'll start giggling because my moustache "tickles down there." It can very distracting.

But some guys are into that, so who am I to judge them? But my point is..... What is my point? Did I even have one?

Oh, right. My point is that most of these damn foreigners coming into my country and stealing jobs from Iraqis are not professional terrorists. They're just bored young men looking to get laid. If there weren't Americans occupying Iraq, these people would still be back home tending to their damn goats.... And yes, having sex with them.

I suppose I have to agree--in a sense, at least--that the Americans are fighting terrorists. But the only reason they're terrorists in the first place is that there are Americans over here. It's a regular catch-22, whatever one of those is.