Saturday, July 09, 2005

The Americans have launched something called Operation Scimitar, which is targetted against insurgents around the Fallujah area.

Operation Scimatar!?!? Huh? Granted, my English vocabulary is somewhat limited, but does anyone out there know what a scimitar is? I had to Google the damn thing, and it turns out to be some sort of oriental sword.

Uh, oriental!?! But Iraq is in the middle freakin' east!!! This is further evidence that Bush invaded the wrong damn country! He thinks he's fighting China!!!! Do I look even vaguely chinese to you people? No, of course not! I can't even stand kung pao! Plus I'm all swarthy and hairy! You should see my back. When I take off my shirt, I look like one of those apes Sigourney Weaver kept making out with in the uncut version of Gorillas in the Mist.

Frankly, I think the Americans may be running out of things to call their military operations. Like names for hurricanes, there's only so many out there that you can use before it starts sounding silly. Think about it: If you lived in Florida and there was a category 5 storm named Biff headed your way, would you evacuate? No, of course not. No one's going to be afraid of someone named Biff.

Anyway, my point is that the Americans are obsessed with giving their military operations noble sounding names such as Operation Overlord, Operation Desert Shield, Operation Just Cause, and Operation Iraqi Freedom. Here in Iraq we tend to be more direct and to the point, such as Operation Kick The Sh*t Out Of Kuwait.

Anyway, I'm still waiting for the Americans to come up with Operation See You Guys Later We're Outta Here It's Been Real Ciao Baby.