Tuesday, July 19, 2005

That Jalal Talbani guy is a very talented fellow. Not only is he a great actor--pretending to President of Iraq in my temporary absence--and something of an escape artist--having avoided assassination thus far--but he's also a comedian! The man should get his own HBO special.... Or even a series on Comedy Central! After all, they have a time slot open since David Chappelle may not be back.

In his latest comedy routine, Talabani says that once my trial is finished, the insurgent attacks will drop off.


When I heard that one, I started laughing so hard I about peed my pants!!!

How often has the world heard that line? Let's see.... When my sons were killed, it was predicted the insurgent attacks would drop off. Then when that didn;t happen, they said my capture would cause the insurgency to collapse. Well, when that didn't happen, it was supposed to be the transfer of sovereignty that would magically bring peace to the land. Then it was the elections, and the big assault on Fallujah a few months ago. But instead of stopping, the attacks have only been growing in intensity and frequency. More Americans are dying than ever before, and more and more innocent Iraqis are being killed in suicide attacks. And now my trial is somehow finally supposed to somehow put an end to the mayhem? Don't hold your breath, folks.

Well, unless you're a Shiite and I'm gassing your village.