WHAT!?!?! I've been indicted!?!?! What the hell for? I haven't done anything!!!!

Well, okay, I suppose if you want to be really, really, really picky, there's the small matter of the hundreds of thousands of people I've massacred over the years. But that's kind of stretching it, if you ask me. Besides, most of those were Shiites and Kurds, so what's all the fuss about?

Still, I'm not worried. I'll just show up in court wearing pajama bottoms and whine about my back, while one of my lawyers shields me from the harsh rays of the sun with an umbrella.

Hey, it worked for Michael Jackson.