Friday, August 12, 2005

Here's the stupidest damn thing I've ever heard: Some official of the puppet government currently illegally occupying my palaces says that I could be executed after my first trial if I am convicted and sentenced to death.


First of all, that statement assumes that there will even be a trial. At the rate the members of the current so-called Iraqi government are being kidnapped, beheaded, assassinated, and blown up, it's not entirely clear if there's going to be anyone left by the time my trial does roll around.

Secondly, the only reason I'm in jail is because my country was illegally invaded by some doofus who meant to actually invade Iran, but can't tell the difference between a "Q" and an "N." This is not surprising, however. What do you expect from some moron who is willing to ignore over a century of scientific research and declare that creationism should be taught in his country's public schools alongside actual science?

That debate was settled years and years ago! Everyone now knows man is descended from camels!

Thirdly, that trial is going to be for massacring Shiites! There's not a Sunni in this country that's going to convict me for that, so this trial is going to be nothing more than a waste of looted money.... Er, I mean, um, a waste of tax dollars!

Besides, if I'm put to death, who's going to put down the insurgency?