Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Did you hear about this chick they arrested in Jordan? She's the wife of one of the suicide bombers that hit the hotels a few days ago. Turns out she was supposed to participate as well, except her explosives-laden vest failed to blow up.

Now that's gotta be humiliating. You're given one task: Go blow yourself up. That should be fairly simple, shouldn't it? And quite frankly, I'm embarrassed to read that she's Iraqi! The article doesn't say, but my guess is that she's a Shiite. Those morons can't do anything right.

I would love to talk to her. Maybe dinner and a movie. Coffee afterwards. Then I'd walk her to her door and sneak a kiss. And if she doesn't slap the crap out of me at that point, I guess we'll both engage in a little, er, "horizontal action," if you catch my drift.

Remind me to get the hell out of there before she achieves an "explosive" orgasm, though.

And what's her motive, anyway? Male martyrs blow themselves up in an effort to spend eternity with those 72 virgins (and I'm assuming every suicide bomber gets a fresh set of virgins). But what about the female bombers? What are they hoping for? To spend eternity with 72 male virgins? How much fun can that be, getting stuck with some 15 year old kid who'll have to go home early to finish his homework? Besides, if a woman wants to sleep with 72 guys, doesn't that make her a slut? And aren't sluts denied access to paradise?

Seems like a regular catch 22 to me.