There have been numerous demonstrations around the world on my behalf, and for this I am grateful. It is nice to be so loved, and to have one's work so appreciated. All too often, weapons of mass destruction get an undeservedly bad rap. Why, if it weren't for my pioneering research in the exciting field of botulinum toxins, botox treatments would never have been invented. Where would Cher be THEN?!?!

I would also like to single out France and Germany for special recognition for their continued opposition to America's unjustified threat of war. I guess now I'll have to buy yet ANOTHER nuclear reactor from them. I've already got six of the damn things. Had to disassemble 'em & bury the parts in the desert, but at least we got 'em.

Anyway, such discord among the westerners only strengthens my own resolve to ride out the storm. And to think I was almost ready to accept Saudi Arabia's offer of asylum!!!! They were all set to give me a villa next door to Idi Amin.

I don't think I would have liked it, though. I've heard about Amin's loud parties, with the dancing girls, the strippers, the gambling, and the human sacrifices. Would've been very distracting.

I prefer silence when I'm playing with my home chemistry set.