Tuesday, March 18, 2003

So Bush has delivered his ultimatum. Now let him enforce it. We Iraqis are a proud people and shall not surrender so easily. Sure, we gave up Kuwait without much of a fight, but that wasn't our soil. But now the Americans are talking about invading Baghdad itself. My people will fight to the death to defend their country. And if they don't, I will kill the sniveling cowards myself.

I will not leave Iraq. This is where I have lived my entire life. There is no way I will ever go into exile. My friends and most loyal followers are here by my side, and are prepared to lay down their lives to protect me. Am I right, people? Uh, I said, AM I RIGHT PEOPLE?! Hello? Hey, where'd everyone go?