Apparently desperate for a date, sillydolly writes hi saddam, not heard any news of your sons for a while. are they in good health?

Thank you for you inquiry, sillydolly. Does the keyshift not work on your computer? Ah, but you were able to summon up a question mark! No matter. We can save the subject of capital letters for a later time. Are you free next Saturday night?

Qusay is doing well. Last I heard he was hiding in the ladies room at the Mosul bus station. As for Uday, well, he's doing pretty well for someone who's been dead since March 19. With all that's happened the last few weeks, I've occasionally misplaced his pieces, dropped him down the stairs, forgot and left him tied to the back bumper of my car as I fled Baghdad... Um, I mean, um, as I went to "regroup" elsewhere. And I think it is a true testament to the kind of man he was that he has never once complained as various limbs became separated from his torso.

At this point, all I have left of him is an eyeball. Can't tell if it's the left one or the right one, though. They both look alike.

I keep it in my pocket.