Did you see me working that crowd the other day? I'll let you in on a little secret: That wasn't me. That was Moustaffah Achmed, one of my SUPPOSED doubles. He's probably my least favorite one. My gut is NOT nearly that big, okay? I mean, granted, my Suzanne Summers Thigh Master was destroyed in a bombing raid last week, and I haven't been able to work out as much as I used to, but I haven't let myself go THAT much!!!

Besides, for the last two weeks I've been living of off bugs I find crawling around on the floor of my bunker.

They're extra lowfat.