The Evil Ones have discovered hundreds of millions of dollars hidden behind a wall in one of my palaces. Now they are trying to determine if it is counterfeit. Well, I can assure it is NOT. What do these people take me for? I am truly insulted. I am a mass-murdering sadistic sex-crazed homicidal sociopathic despot, for crying out loud, NOT a criminal!!!

And that money better all be there when I get back home.