Apparently there is a rumor floating around that my son Uday is thinking of surrendering. HA!! This just goes to prove that you can't believe everything you read on the internet!

Uday has been dead for the last two months, and most parts of his body fell off piece by piece when I fled Baghdad.... Um, I mean, uh, when I, er, voluntarily decided to regroup elsewhere. Yeah, that's it! I'm "regrouping."

Anyway, about all I have left of Uday now is one of his eyeballs.

I keep it in my pocket.