People sometimes ask, "Saddam, don't you ever get tired of living in a bathroom stall, squatting on the toilet to keep your feet off the floor so no one realizes you're in there?"

Well, no, not when you consider the alternatives. I mean, yeah, it gets montonous at times, but then you start listening to the various noises that people's bodies are capable of making, and it's really quite fascinating. Besides, I'm not leaving here till they bring that SARS thing under control. I mean, that's some scary sh*t. Now they think it can be spread by feces!

Between the constant threat of JDAMs, Tomahawks, Predator drones, and viruses, this job just isn't what it used to be.