Today is the 129th running of something called the "Kentucky Derby." If I understand it correctly, this Derby thing is a horse race. How barbaric!!!!!! Oh, the hypocrisy!! Americans claim to be civilized, but then they go out and watch a horse race?!?!

I honestly do not understand the appeal. One should not force horses to run; The practice is inhumane to the extreme, and a horrible way to treat such a wonderful, gentle, animal. One needs to pamper our equine friends, treat them well, feed them only the finest hay, provide them with shelter, knock them in the head with an iron mallet, skin them, properly roast the meat over an open pit barbecue, and eat them. Making them run only serves to make the meat tough.

And what's this about Jockeys riding them? How bizarre is that? Jockeys are designed to be worn by people, for Allah's sake, not animals. Personally, though, I wear Haines underwear, when I bother to wear any at all. What's their slogan? "Gentlemen prefer Haines."

But ba