In a most odd development, the Los Angeles Times has banned the use of the term "resistance fighters" when referring to my, um, well, resistance fighters. This really doesn't make sense. The paper is located right in the heart of the Saddam Triangle, which stretches from San Diego to San Francisco to Berkely to Oakland.

Granted, that may seem like an odd shape for a triangle, but I am a dictator, and therefore it is only fair that I decide what qualifies as geometry around here.

Kapiche?

The Times is apparently concerned that the term resistance fighters somehow "romanticizes" those still loyal to me. Well, I would have to disagree with that. Have you ever smelled an Iraqi male who's been out in the desert for two months without a shower? Trust me when I say there ain't nuthin' romantic about it, okay?

Besides, what else would you call someone who is actively opposed to a foreign occupying power hellbent on unjustly imposing freedom and democracy on a people who clearly prefer a brutal dictatorship?