A couple of days ago I complained about the horrible treatment I am repeatedly being subjected to. Specifically, the lack of access to the Sci-Fi Channel, as well as any Premium cable channels. Many of my loyal readers were quick to volunteer to tape shows for me, especially The Sopranos. I would like to thank all of you who took the time....

Oh, who am I kidding.... Only one--ONE--reader offered to do this for me. And I recognize him as a longtime follower and consummate yes-man who is totally devoid of any independent thought and constantly agrees with everything I say.

Needless to say, I admire that in a man.

As for the rest of you: Rest assured that I shall not forget this failure to step forward in Saddam's hour of need. I have recorded your I.P. addresses, and I will be knocking on your front doors after President Dennis Kucinich frees me next January.

However, you can still save your necks. Just send me porn.