I know what you're all saying: "Saddam? Is that really you? Are you really blogging again? We missed you so much! May we hug you and kiss you and blow in your ear?"

Well, I missed you, too, even if you are all a bunch of cowardly weasels. And stay the hell away from me; this ain't San Francisco, you know. A simple handshake will do.

Yes, it's true: I'm back to blogging. But don't expect it to be as frequent as last year. They keep me locked away, and I'm not supposed to have access to computers. However, I did figure out that if I lift up the ceiling tiles in my cell and climb up, I can make my way through the crawlspace to the prison's commanding General's office, drop back down, and log onto his desktop. Took a while to figure out his passcode, but it's mycommanderinchiefisanidiot.

That's easy enough to remember.

Gotta go. Guard's coming.