I can not believe how desperately Cheney continues to cling to the idea that I had ties to Al Qaeda. Despite the fact that this assertion has been repeatedly disproved, he continues to say I was somehow responsible for the attacks of 9-11. In fact, just this past Monday, the infidel Vice President repeated that accusation in a speech to some conservative think tank group.

If this is the kind of crap these "think tanks" come up with, perhaps they should take up daydreaming. It would make for a much safer world.

Even the commission investigating the attacks said today that there is "no credible evidence" I had any ties to Al Qaeda.

---------------Mike Luckovich, Atlanta Journal Constitution

Granted, Osama approached me years ago for help, but I told him to piss off. Firstly, I didn't care for his self-righteous, holier than thou attitude. He's one of those people who always wears his religion on his sleeve, and he's damn proud of the fact that he's a born again Muslim. He even leaves little pamphlets in public places preaching the glories of finding Allah, opening your heart to the glories of Islam, and killing Americans.

And I still don't get the 72 virgins thing. What happens when you've used them up? Do you have to jerk off for the rest of eternity? And what the hell kind of religion promotes constant wild sex with women who are NOT your wives?

So I told him that I wouldn't help him. Besides, I was afraid someone would discover our connection and I'd get invaded.

And I certainly wouldn't want to risk that!!