Have you been following this Ken Jennings fellow on Jeopardy!? He's the guy who's on the verge of becoming the show's first million dollar winner.

This has given me an idea: As you probably realize, my legal defense is going to cost a fortune.... Assuming, of course, the judge doesn't chicken out and dismiss the case. Wouldn't it be a hoot if he did, though? And Bush wouldn't be able to do anything about it since Iraq is now a sovereign country!

He'd probably end up choking on a pretzel if that happened. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

But I digress.... My point is that I should go on Jeopardy! and win money to fund my defense! How hard can it be? After all, that infidel fool Alex Trebeck gives you the damn answers at the beginning of each question. What the hell kind of stupid show is that!?!?

And even if I were to somehow fall behind, big deal! I'll just shoot the other contestants!