Saturday, July 17, 2004

You know how Bush is always saying that the invasion of my peace loving nation, which would never have harmed a fly (Well, okay, except Kuwait.... And the Iranians, but that's it.... Oh, right, and there were those Scuds we launched against Israel in '91, but that's REALLY it....Saudi Arabia? Oh, yeah, I guess we did fire a few Scuds at them too. But that's absolutely, positively it.... No, no, it's not fair to bring up the Kurds and Shiites.... Sure, I gassed them, but that was an internal domestic matter.... Besides, Kurds and Shiites are below flies on the evolutionary ladder, so they don't really count).... Um, now what the hell was I saying...?

Oh, right. Bush has repeatedly said that invading Iraq has made the world a safer place and created a more stable Middle East.

Well, obviously the man has a fertile imagination. Almost as fertile as the Fertile Crescent, which used to lie between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers until I built damns upstream and turned the whole area into a frikkin' desert. But again, that was an internal domestic matter intended to kill off the Marsh Arabs.

But it turns out all those foreign fighters that poured across my unsecured borders--unsecured because a certain American President who shall remain nameless didn't invade with enough troops--are now returning home to Saudi Arabia as hardened war veterans. And guess what? They're forming an underground army to launch attacks against the Saudi government! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

As Mr. Bush has learned, irony can be a painful puppy when it sneaks up and bites you in the ass.