Interim Puppet Prime Minister Ayad Allawi has been in Washington during the past week. Apparently he and George Dubya engaged in some heavy drinking, because that's the only way I can explain their optimism about the future of Iraq.

It should be obvious to everyone that not only are things getting worse, the whole stinkin' place is descending into total, absolute chaos. Foreigners are being kidnapped at an accelerated pace, bootlegged copies of beheading videos are selling on streetcorners, three or four car bombs are going off every week, Iraqi police and army recruits getting targeted for attacks at increasing rates, and more American troops are being killed and wounded than ever.

Quite frankly, the country is so royally f*cked up right now that I'm no longer sure that even I want it back. After all, I'm a despot, not a miracle worker.

Yet these two clowns continue to insist that those stupid elections will go forward in January. Um, how? Despite what Allawi says, large portions of the country are in the hands of various insurgent groups. Does he seriously believe those places will be able to participate in elections? And if, in fact, large portions of Iraq can not vote, what will that do to the legitimacy of any future government?

On the other hand, any future Iraqi government that does not have me in charge is, by definition, illegitimate.

Even Donald Rumsfeld, whom I consider to be a ninny of the highest order, has conceded that large parts of the nation may not be able to vote. But then there are people at the State Department who insist that EVERYONE in Iraq will be able to do so.

It's becoming obvious that not only is President Bush living in the land of Oz, but that even the rest of the United States government is populated by clueless Munchkins.