Tuesday, October 26, 2004

I don't mean to constantly harp on how President Bush has bungled his invasion and occupation of my country, but it can't be helped because, well, he bungled it. And not just a little bit, either. I mean, he really, really, really, really, REALLY royally bungled it! Remember when I invaded Kuwait 14 years ago? Even I had enough frikkin' sense to go in there with enough troops to secure the damn place!!!

But George "I Know What I'm Doing So Get Out My Way" Bush didn't want to listen to anyone else. Not even a secret intelligence report warning of a massive insurgency. And why did he ignore it? Simply because it differed with his preconceived notions of how the invasion and occupation would go.


This failure to use enough manpower has led to many of the United States' current problems, including--get this--the loss of 380 frikkin' tons of high explosives!!

How the hell do lose that much of anything!?!?! I mean, it's not like you can slip the stuff under your jacket and sneak it out the door! Nor is it likely to be easy to hide in the trunk of your car! Try to wrap your puny infidel minds around that number, if you can: 380 tons!!! That weighs damn near as much as Rosie O'Donnell!

But worst of all, that was my 380 tons of high explosives!!! Someone had better hurry up and find the sh*t, or you can rest assured I'll be sending the Bush family a bill for every last ounce of it.